Returned
by faithxtrustxandxpixiedust
Summary: Alright if you haven't read specials this will sort-of ruin it for you. This story starts when Tally see's Zane in the hospital.Zanes one of my fav.characters and i just could let it end that way lol. it's better than the summary i promise. R&R please.
1. Zane

**Hey so everything before this is the same as the books but I didn't like the end so im changing it lol.**

***Disclaimer* I don't own any of the characters or the plot they belong to Scott Westerfeld. But I do own this ratty old sweatshirt which is more comfortable than characters lol.**

"_I want to see him."_

"_Tally-wa that's not a good idea. What if you lose it? You could kill someone._

"_Shay-la," Tally hissed. "Let me see him."_

"_Let me see him or I'll kill them all. You wont be able to stop me."_

_Shay's arms were wrapped around her now, but Tally knew she could break the grip. Enough of her sneak suit still worked that she could turn it slippery, slide out, and start swinging, go straight for their throats...._

_Shay's grip shifted, and something pressed lightly against Tally's neck. "Tally, I can inject you with the cure right now."_

"_No, you can't. We have a war to stop. You need my brain the messed-up way it is."_

"_But they need those machines. All your doing is--"_

_Let me be the center of the universe for five more minutes, Shay. Then I'll go away and let him die. I promise."_

_Shay let out a long sigh between her teeth. "Everyone, get out of our way." _

As Tally neared Zane's bed she could hear only one thing over the incessant beeping of the machines that held Zane hear on the edge of death, or maybe he was already past that edge….. _it's all your fault…. _There it was again the thought she knew she would never get out of her head.

"Oh Zane…" She whispered. "What have I've I done to you?" She felt the tears she could never cry before run down her face, as she kneeled beside him. As she gently took his to cold, to still, hand in hers she remembered the last time they'd been together. The memory she longed to erase.

"Zane, why? I- I'm rewiring my self again Zane but—but I can't do it with out you. Don't you know that it was always you? Back when we were pretties I didn't change until—until—until our first kiss. Zane I need you….." She mumbled into his pillow. He had changed her again. She knew she was know longer special. Not like she was, because the thing that disgusted her so much, had made her push him away, and dive into the ocean would make her happier than she had even been in her life. She wished he would wake up, even if he was the trembling, broken Zane she'd seen last. Even if he hated her and pushed her away as she had done to him, anything would be better than this.

"I love you" she whispered in his ear, finding it cruely ironic that she had finally gathered the courage to tell him and he would never know. _It's all your fault _said her thoughts again.

"I know" she snapped angrily to herself.

"Tally," Shay whispered hesitantly. "We need to—"

"Go." She finished for her. "I know Shay-la. I know." She gently kissed his check as she rose and released his hand. "Good-bye"

_It's all your fault……It's all your fault……It's all your fault….._

Tally focused on the beeping and humming of the machines as they walked out of his room, anything to drown out that thought. _Beep………Beep……..Beep……..Beep….Beep..Beep..Beep._

No, she thought to herself. No.

"It can't be" she barley breathed as she turned to look back one last time. She saw him laying there, so different and yet it almost looked as if he was only sleeping. Tally blinked hard though she knew her eye's couldn't be playing a trick on her, they were after all still special.

"Shay?"

"What?"

"Look at Zane. At his hand"

"Tally, what is it" she replied wearily as she turned around. "Is that? Is he?"

"Yes, Yes!" Tally practically giggled as she ran toward him.


	2. Waking Up

**Hey all sorry for leavin you hanging but my life changed alot this week. Both my sisters moved away and my mom got engaged it's been a lot to take in lol. **

***Disclaimer* I don't own any of the characters or the plot they belong to Scott Westerfeld. But I do own these delicious ramen noodles ******

Tally stood next to his bed not moving, barley breathing. She couldn't believe what she saw was real. Did his fingers really move? Was the beeping getting faster, more steady? Or had it been that way before? She couldn't let herself believe that he might live. Good things just didn't happen to Tally Youngblood, and believing this could kill her. It seemed like hours before the doctor Shay had pinged arrived though she knew it could only have been seconds.

"Miss, I need you to move," said the doctor, his soothing middle pretty voice didn't sound hopeful, only weary. As if Zane being alive was just another complication. She could feel herself getting furious at the weak, ordinary pretty. She took a deep breath, she had to hold on to her new found control. Hurting him would do nothing to help Zane. Not that he could be helped of course, her brain told her. Telling herself that didn't help, because no matter what her brain said her heart already believed he would live.

"Come on, Tally." Shay said carefully taking her arm."I'm not leaving the room" Tally said shakily. Crap even her voice was betraying her she had meant to sound forceful and in control.

"You can sit in those chairs there," replied the doctor. "hmm.."

"What does 'hmm' mean?" The doctor ignored her. "Shay, what does 'hmmm' mean? Is 'hmm' good or bad?" The doctor hmmed again. "Why does he keep doing that? What is 'hmm'? Is 'hmm' supposed to make me feel better?"

"I'm sorry miss I didn't mean to worry you. 'Hmm' in this case is good, very good. It appears that he is waking up. Though I don't know how much of his skills will still be lost. I'm guessing most—"

"Guessing? Doctors aren't supposed to guess!" The soothing middle pretty smile was on his face now as if she was a littlie who was contradicting her parents.

"Yes, well patients in his condition….. aren't supposed to wake up. Now I'm guessing most of his motor skills are will still be gone but—"

"So when he wakes up he won't be able to talk? Or move? Will they… Can he ever get them back?"

"Young lady if you'd let me finish I'll tell you everything I can. Now I'm not sure of course but he could return to the state he arrived here in, with proper care and attention. He may have more damage only time will tell. But I can tell you that he will never be completely normal he will always have brain damage and neither I nor any of the other doctors in Diego will ever try to restore him again. Not with the results this had."

Tally was done listening, she pushed past the doctor and went to Zane's bed side. He was waking up. He was really waking up. She didn't let her self consider what else the doctor had said she just focused on that. She heard Shay talking to the doctor and the other ex-cutters who had gathered around Zane's room but she wasn't listening. She was focused completely on Zane.

**I know it's short but it seemed like an appropriate place to stop. I'll have the next chapter up soon and it'll be longer. I promise lol. **


	3. Staying

**Hey every one sorry for leaving you hanging for so long, but lifes complicated sometimes lol. **

***Disclaimer& I don't own any of the characters or the plot, I just get to play with them.**

"Shay-la, I can't leave him."

"You have to Tally, your the only one that can stop this war."

"You don't understand Shay. This -- all of this is my fault. Zane. The way he is, it's my

fault. I know the wars my fault to -- well ours – but it's not the same. I…I just have to be

here when he wakes up. I have to. I have to try to fix what I've done. To stop him from

doing anything stupid again."

"It's not your fault. He got the dangerous pill and you got the harmless one. You couldn't

control that it was chance. You can't keep blaming yourself. You didn't know."

"I'm not talking about then Shay, though that is my fault too. I was too scared to take both. If I had just taken them he would be fine right now."

"Tally, you didn't know."

"Your right. Then I didn't know, but it's my fault he tried to fix himself like this. It's my

fault he pushed the limits."

"How could it be?"

Tally took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She had to tell Shay. To make her

understand why she so desperately needed to be here when Zane woke, but she didn't want to. She was ashamed of the way she had acted and she wasn't sure she could stand to see her feeling reflected on her friends face.

"Tally it's ok, you can tell me"

"Ok. When we separated and I stayed with Zane, I never meant for them to see me but, they had left there boards out in a way that was going to draw attention. So I went to move them while everyone was sleeping. I was wearing my invisibility suit and I was careful not to make any noise but, Shay, Zane woke up and though he couldn't see me I knew he sensed me. I don't know how but, he did…"

**Ok, guys so I sat down to write this and I've got all these ideas for this story in my head and I get here and I totally blank. I can't believe this but I forgot what happens between her fixing the hover boards and the kiss and I can't write this with out that and I don't have the book. So to get to the point, I need someone to fill me in before I can write anymore. Thanks in advance. **


	4. Memories

***Disclaimer* I don't own any of the characters or the plot. Thanks so much to Cristina who reminded me of exactly what happened lol. Wow I know im too busy when I can't remember books!! lol.**

He tricked me into talking to him and…. I don't know how it happened really but….. well we… kissed."

"Oohh?" Tally could tell that Shay was wondering how that mattered.

"We kissed and for a few moments it was so wonderful Shay, but then" her voice broke. This was the part that haunted her, that she knew always would. The part that she wanted to keep to herself.

"Then what happened" Shay asked her tone full of pity.

"Oh Shay, every one always thought I was so strong. I'd managed to cure myself once surely I could do it again, right? That's what Zane thought. What we'd been talking about but, this -- being special, it's too strong. Part of me wanted to be close to him, to forget what I am and make that kiss last forever but, the special part, was stronger. He stroked my cheek and I felt his trembling and I couldn't take it. I had to get away, but he wouldn't let go of me so I cut him. I cut him Shay, I made him bleed, and then I jumped into the ocean and hid until he went back to camp. I couldn't face him Shay I knew he must hate me, and I don't blame him. I was awful to him."

"Oh Tally, I'm so sorry. But, I don't see what that has to do with what's happened to him…"

"You remember what the doctor said about why he's like this. He tried to push the limits, to not only get back to normal, but to be better than he ever was, to be more like a special. Shay he did it because of me, because I couldn't stand seeing him like that, weak and trembling."

"Ohh," Shay sighed. "Oh I see."

"But it's not like that now Shay, I'd give anything to have him back. Even trembling and broken, even if he hates me which he surely will. I don't care if he wont forgive me I just, I have to see him awake, alive,"

Her voice broke on the last word and her eyes filled the tears she had almost forgotten she could shed.

"You will Tally, don't worry," Tally couldn't understand the pity she heard in her friends voice, she had expected Shay to be disgusted with her as she was with herself. To insist that stopping the war was more important than her own selfish needs. "I'll go back. I'll stop the war."

**Ahhh I love a good cliff hanger lol.**


End file.
